Yesterday was the New Moon. I celebrate every moon phase since that is when I do my casting. I dedicate each casting to the Goddess and feel her presence with me as I do so. Right now I have needed her more than usual.
This New Moon for me was about more than just casting spells. For me it was about recognizing the fact that my old life is gone and a new life awaits. I’m not ready just yet to accept this of course – it is still too early and grief is still too fresh. Yet at least I know that at the end of all this darkness there will be light.
I have been working on my Altar Room for months now. I have been doing rituals mainly outside while getting all the altars set up in that room. Over the holidays I had to use the room for gifts etc, so I put a hold on completing it. Now the room holds many of my husband’s belonging including his guitar which I simply cannot bear to touch or take-out of the case. For now the rituals must be done outside then which suits me fine since sometimes I can hardly breathe when I am in the house.
When I cast spells I go “between the worlds” and right now this is a very good place to be. I already feel such a sense of unreality as it is but to go to a place that is neither here nor there is a great comfort to me. “Between the worlds” there is no sense of time or place. Often I don’t even remember too much of what went on during the time I was there but I will notice immediately that many hours have passed and everything I needed to do is accomplished.
Lucy has been adding her energy to the work I do in the house before I go outside to cast. She is not an especially curious cat (which is good since right now I have witchy things all around the house!) but she likes to see what I am doing and will sit patiently with eyes the size of saucers watching me in my crafting.
Occasionally she will stretch out a paw while I am doing calligraphy or mixing oils and powders, just to let me know that she is interested and as a witches cat she is happy to offer her energy to whatever I am doing.
I had many firsts the last couple of days since all the heartbreak and tragedy. I was able to travel. I was able to go to a restaurant. I was able to see my father too; who came to visit with his wife. I spent some time alone with him which was precious to me. It was the first time I had been alone with him in 17 years. I wish I could see him like that every week.
Magick keeps happening. Thank Goddess! The magick of my new little kitty; the magick of such wonderful caring clients, friends and family and the magick of being able to go on.